Jealousy Juice

Happy Memorial Day People!

I hope you enjoyed the weekend.  Thank you to all those who have sacrificed their lives to secure our freedom and those who are currently risking their lives.  God bless you all.

So for today’s post I will start by telling the story of my adventure in the supermarket on Sunday.  I went to my local grocery store to get garlic for my burgers (The burgers were great!  Pesto, Basil, Tapanade and garlic on Foccacia bread.  Sharp cheddar cheese with grilled onion, zucchini and mushroom on a bed of romaine lettuce.  All topping a 100% organic beef patty with barbecue marinade. I did my thang!).   While in the store I noticed an eye-catching sight.  There at the end of the aisle was a beautiful curvaceous young lady wearing nearly inappropriate outfit.  She was with a very tall and handsome man who had a wannabe pimp (without any sense) energy.  As I came to the end of the aisle, the man lagged back so that the lady passed me first and there was space between he and she.  The man proceeded to try to make contact with me while his girlfriend was unaware.  I pretended not to see him or hear him.  When I was leaving, this couple was leaving as well.  I immediately stood still and acted like I was thinking about something.  The couple passed me again and there was this “these folks is crazy” feeling.  I turned my back to them and when they were further away I proceeded, but the guy again had lagged back.  I acted like I didn’t see him again and then the girlfriend snaps her head around (like a severe exorcist scene) to try to catch the guy and I speaking but there was nothing to catch on my part.  So she shot him this evil look and he hurried to catch up with her.  I slowed up and let that ball of drama get out of my way (Lord knows I ain’t trying to fight in ANY parking lot!).  Then I went home to enjoy my burger.

I tell this story not to make fun of this couple because it is truly sad.  This story is not unusual.  Whether you are single or married, male or female, young or old, you have had to deal with this situation.  This incident reveals a much deeper issue.  A lot of people (not just women but people) drink that juice called jealousy.  When we drink jealousy juice we are poisoning ourselves.  That young man was indeed a cheater and the young lady had every right to mistrust him (no doubt he had earned it).  However, her outfit said she had lost all her self-respect in her pursuit of “love”.  But what she had was not love because it was so tainted with mistrust, insecurity, selfishness and betrayal that it stank.  Yet there she was trying to defend her none existent relationship (She may have been in a relationship but he wasn’t and it was obvious!).  She was drinking that jealousy juice.  The main ingredients in jealousy juice are fear and the thought that someone can take what is our only hope.  The truth was and is she was not with the right man; she should not have feared losing that man because he was not her only hope for love.  She could not see that and made herself look pretty crazy.  (The young man is awholenother issue to be addressed in a different post.)

We need to translate this truth to the other areas of life.  We need to recognize that our fear of losing our position, power, status or whatever are toxic.  And that whatever it is; it is not our last hope.  We (and that young lady) cannot fear losing nor can we think that someone will take our only hope.  God is the only “only hope” and no one can take Him away from us; but Him, and He died and rose again just to have us close to Him.  So nothing can take our only hope.  Anything else, if lost will work out for our good (like that girl losing that guy would be great for her; it would make room for a real man in her life).  But some of the major side effects of Jealousy juice are blindness, crippling drama, out of control emotions and something that I call “moral erosion”.  In other words this juice blinds us to the truth of ourselves and others; puts us in the middle of drama so deep that we have hard time living and a harder time leaving; makes us rage like roids; and wears down our integrity (morals) until we are doing the unthinkable to maintain something or someone we should really let go (because it is or they are quietly killing us).

In short, get off the Jealousy Juice by drinking the new wine of worship in the Holy Spirit and letting go of anything or anyone who you have to drink jealousy juice to deal with.  (Oh and get you some water (word) baby, please to flush out the negative.)  Aight folks, I’m done until next monday.  God Bless you with Him.

Life, Love and Learning to ya,

Good

The “Gift” of Singleness

But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given.  For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.” Matthew 19:11&12 (ESV)

To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.  I Corinthians 7:8 (ESV)

Shalom,

Often these passages are waved in the faces of singles to teach the “gift” of singleness.  The problem is that it is normally married people teaching this (while they have a mate).  Singles are told that being single gives them greater freedom, time and passion to pursue a relationship with Christ.  This is all true but at times even with a strong love for God, singleness does not feel like a gift.  Whether one is called to singleness for a season or a lifetime, loneliness can creep in.  So is singleness really a gift and how does one face the isolation without resenting it?

The answer is a perspective change.  Not everyone wants a mate and in those cases the gift of singleness is obvious  (I applaud these people, it is a true gift) but along the spectrum of other circumstances and desires the gift can be more obscure and confusing.  Singleness is not a typical gift.  The generosity of God is not as evident in it.  What makes singleness a gift is not what we can accomplish in our singleness nor what we can gain; singleness is a gift because it is meant to be received.  The same way a mate is a gift to be received and grown with, singleness should be accepted and grown with as well.  Not only as a Christian but being unmarried grows us up as men and women.

I Corinthians 7:32-34 says, “He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord” and in the average message this scripture is used to direct saints to use this time to focus on the Lord.  This is absolutely right.  I want to add that in order to truly receive this gift our focus on God must lead us to a transforming introspection the same way marriage does.  When two people marry, they become a part of God’s process to develop the other into the fullest and best of their true selves.  God uses singleness in the same way but more intensely because in singleness Christ is our only Beloved.  While singles use their time of solitude to know God; if they are open, God uses that time to heal, perfect and love them.   If we receive this time as a gift of intimacy with Christ rather than a sentence to solitary confinement and are open to Him in it, we can be introduced to our true identity in Messiah Jesus Christ, to become it.  This is the gift of singleness. Whether temporary or permanent, it is not a gift because of the accomplishments or prizes.  The gift of singleness is receiving the full truth of who we are meant to be and becoming it.  It is receiving God in us.

Note from Good:  The truth is no matter how much of a super saint we may be, we will from time to time struggle with loneliness but that doesn’t mean we should jump and get married or date someone (including the exes whose numbers we just can’t seem to lose. Put it down and back away from the phone.). When craving for connection seems to be turning on us what we need to do is see it for what it is…our humanity.  It is normal.  We are meant to have connection.  Reach out to good strictly plutonic friends and family.  Spend some time with yo folks and get some pure good love.  It will help.  Mostly during these times we should all reach for stronger connection to Christ and to self.  Very few people recognize that loneliness or longing for intimacy is a symptom that we are not connected to who we are.  Intimacy or into me see should be individual as well as relational.  After all we cannot share ourself if you don’t know who we are.

For me personally that meant recognizing that my personal love language is physical touch.  When I am not hugged or touched I don’t feel loved.  However, I was born into an extremely large family (with 16 uncles and 8 aunts) where most folks ain’t touchy feely.  So I had to turn to God and recieve a stronger intimacy with Him where I can feel His love.  Next I had to be very introspective, exploring me.  I found that sometimes my desire for people was my way of avoiding my own stuff (i.e., hurt, sin, doubt, loss, failures, etc).  So I had to deal with me and love me first.  Then I developed very stong connections with the family members that are huggers and I had to get huggy touchy homegirls  (not romantically) who like being hugged just as much as me.  That does not erase my desire for a mate it just gives me a stability in my intimacy so that even when I am married, I am not love starved if my husband is not available to me.

To find your love language visit:  http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/

Truth is the gift of single is sometimes a gift we want to return but, we need to appreciate all that it builds us into, the best we that we can possibly be. 😀   Aight then.  I am out until next monday.  God bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you.

Love, Life and Learning to you,

Good

Craigslist Dating

Hey Y’all,

I must share my adventure tonight into the world of Craigslist dating.  I was trying to sell some things on Craigslist and noticed for the first time that there was a section for dating.  This amazed me because I just didn’t expect it at all.  I was so intrigued that I decided to read the posts.

I haven’t dated in a long time and this was not my cup of tea so I was really just being nosy.  (I’m just saying.)

I was amazed by the frankness of some, the delusions and vulgarity of others and overall just the presentation.  I am not running any of these men and women down because I do not know any one of them to my knowledge.  However, it struck me as odd that many of them were looking for a “good woman” for a “real relationship”.  Craigslist just did not seem the place for it.  It’s a great place to sell or buy but, brokering love in such an environment seems unrealistic.  Don’t get me wrong, I am the eternal optimist and wholeheartedly believe in love being found in unexpected ways.  I also believe that love is more than a mere commodity to be conjured on a marketplace website.  In my opinion, each one of those men and women are more precious and valuable than they give themselves credit for being.  It cheapens the beauty of who a person is to place their heart in a sells and trade genre.  Even if they were advertising something honorable, who they truly are in the eyes of Christ is not seen in those posts because of the nature of the website as a venue.

Craigslist is a nice website for what it’s for, buying and selling (or getting free stuff if you’re fast enough), it just seems to me that we as people should set the stage for our hearts in a better arena.

Well let me know what you think.  Good Morning and Good Night

Life and Learning To You, Good

Hello world!

It Midnight and I finally decided to do it…blog.

In my drowsy state this makes sense to me.  Who knows tomorrow, or should I say later today, I might rethink this but for now let’s talk.

I am the good girl that a lot of people say finishes last.  I respectfully disagree.  I think nice guys and girls finish well but howsomeever your cookie crumbles, I want to start a conversation.  I’m not here to meet anyone romantically, just share and be shared with.  Hopefully, with Christ’s help we will figure some things out.

Life and learning to you, Good.