Me, My Four and No More

Hey Folks, It’s Monday but I ain’t my normal happy self. (Sorry folks this is going to be a rant.)

Gal 3:28

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.

I Cor. 12:13, Eph 3:5-10, John 10:16, Rom 10:12-15, Rom 3:29, Eph 2:13 – 17 and many more.

I was recently speaking with some people of a certain shared culture and noticed that they really did not care for those of other cultures.  This upset me greatly!  I am a woman of a multicultural background and proud of it but, it makes me angry when I see people only care for those that they share a heritage, culture, language or whatever with (especially in the church!).  This is unacceptable!  We can no longer afford a me and mine mentality!  We are thee Body! One family, one people, one BLOOD (The blood of Jesus Christ), regardless of the culture, social class or financial status we originate from we are now connected 1st to the this Family of Christ!  All else is a distraction from the truth of Christ.

It is sickening to think that there are those who would try to propagate their agenda on the back of one culture’s struggle but care not one iota for the people upon which they profit.  That is ideological slavery!  It is twisted!

Here is my point my short and sweet: Honestly care about people more than your own agenda!

As Christians we are called to love! If we only love those that we have culture, language, money, etc in common with we are not loving and therefore not Christlike.  That is a violation of the commandments of Christ:   And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these. (Mark 12:30&31 KJV)

Our neighbors are not only those that look like us or talk like us or come from our country or have our background.  Our neighbors are all mankind…..And if God is no respecter of persons (Acts 10:34), how dare we be!  Racism, Classism, Sexism and a bunch of other isms, have been tolerated in the church far, faaaaarrrrrrrrrrr too long!  It must die and die now!  We are commanded to LOVE not segregate! All this garbage about black churches, white churches, latino churches, chinese churches, whatever with that!  Christ is not divided across color lines! We are supposed to be one as the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are ONE! (John 17:11 And now I am no more in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to thee. Holy Father, keep through thine own name those whom thou hast given me, that they may be one, as we are.)  WE ARE THE CHURCH! PERIOD. POINT BLANK. EXCLAMATION POINT!

And if you can’t get over my sister’s dark skin or my brother’s blue eyes or my father’s curly red hair or my uncle’s empty pockets or my cousin’s inability to speak the language you like,…..YOU NEED JESUS!

Now that I’m done with the ranting portion………breathe….breathe……breathe………

Let’s relate this to singleness and relationships.  Many people are dating and crossing lines which is beautiful but some neglect to embrace the culture, class, financial background or whatever of those that they date.  While others marry across the lines and neglect to see the background of their significant other as integral to the whole of the person.  We cannot only pick the parts in common but we must embrace the differences as well.  The differences and the similarities are the enriching harmonies to the symphony of life.

Alright I am done for this week. Feel free to comment (if you are negative, I may ignore you, but feel free).

Dance to all the music.

Life, love and learning to you,

Good

Good Friends and Art Auction Update

Top of the Monday To ya! (That’s for my Irish folks, love ya fam. Yes, I’m Irish and everything else. lol)

What about your friends?  How long has it been since you spent a good few hours just talking and laughing with a table of friends?  For me, it had been a minute but yesterday after church, some friends and I got together to go over the art auction to raise funds for Therosia’s tuition this semester.  We laughed and talked until we shut 2 different establishments down.  It’s like it says in

Pro 17:22

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

It was just so good to laugh and talk and remember and be silly with people who I absolutely enjoy!  I pray that for you.  I pray that God gives you people who you absolutely enjoy and that you are healthy enough to enjoy them while being the true you God created you to be.  I pray that you have a great laugh today and that your heart flows with great joy that is infectious to those around you.  I pray that you laugh until you cry and your side hurts with a silly and merry heart that maintains it’s respect for others and true dignity of respect for self.  God bless you to enjoy life this week.

This life can be so hard and so serious but the love and joy that God wants us to have in Him, is indeed the medicine.  It is a part of our lives as singles and marrieds, that we reach beyond the confines of our home and connect with brothers and sisters who become extended family; to cry with us, to stand with us and definitely to laugh with us.  (Remember, however, that the rejection that we may encounter in the process, is a good thing.  It removes those who are not meant to share in our lives.  Say thank you to God for those who walk away just as much for those who stay.)  Have joy!

Art Auction Update:

The Auction is going forward as planned!  So excited.  We have live music from various artists with a jazz/hip hop fusion set.  Live poetry by Therosia great food, a raffle and more will all be in the building.  If you or someone you know will be in the Phoenix, AZ area please come out or help me promote the event.  There is also an online fundraiser for those who cannot attend but want to help at:

http://www.youcaring.com/fundraiser_details?fundraiser_id=7383&url=therosiastuition

Thank you so much for helping and praying.  God bless you all.

Dance a jig of joy for me and I will see you next Monday.

Life, love and Learning To You.

Considerate and Unoffended

It’s Monday! Whew Hew!

I am gone to make it short this week because it is simple.  Whether we are married or single, we have a challenge before us in our relationships:  To be considerate or not; to be offended or not.

We can choose.  Choose to be greatly considerate and hard to offend.

That does not mean that we grovel or allow abuse (because that is not cute nor God approved). Instead we see the sensitivities of those around us and, as much as is healthy, honor them.  Also that we see the short comings of those around us and understand (sometimes they just didn’t mean it the way we took it).  Give people a chance and the benefit of the doubt.  Our need to self protect can turn into defensiveness that can just hurt those around us.  It’s not fair.  Put the shield down long enough to see what is really going on.

Lastly, some of us are so set on getting ours (Hustle, Shine, Acknowledgements, Dreams, etc.) that we are running over the ones who love us to get it and killing our relationships in the process.  (This is evident when everyone around us feel used more than loved.)  Be considerate.  See the person for who they are more than what they can give, contribute, etc.

Be At Peace :-D. Until Next Monday

Life, Love, and Learning to you,

Good

Single For Life?

It’s Monday!!! Yay 😀

This week I just want to go back and hit a point.  Single for Life sounds like a prison sentence but it is really a distinct journey that none can take except there is a gift within them to do so.

     ¹¹ But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. ¹² For there are some      eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men:      and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it. Matt 19:11-12

My point is simple, singleness for life is a gift just like being married is a gift.  Christians often forget this fact and have a tendency to make singles feel incomplete, unworthy, unwelcome and to some extents suspect.  Between not so subtle “hints”; “accidental” and intentional setups; jealous married folks that grab their mates; odd bible quotes and questioning looks, a single can feel that the gift they enjoy is a shroud of shame.  (Which personally makes me want to scream in the middle of conversations, “I’m not interested in your man! I’m waiting for my own!” or “I’m waiting on Jesus! Are you Jesus?!” but honestly that would not be attractive. So I’m not going to have that moment.  Breath….Breath….. Breath….lol.)

For the church to be all we are called to be.  We must embrace all the gifts that are present within the body.  We cannot exalt marriage and demean singleness nor deify singleness and belittle marriage.  Each gift contributes to the whole.  (Let’s not forget that the ratios are unequal between men and women; therefore somebody is coming up short.  And whoever that is needs to be ok with that. “He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.”)  We must honor everyone’s journey and allow it to bless the body as a whole.

For singles who are called to singleness for life, that honor must begin with you.  No one can honor your gift if you hide it or doubt it.  Own your singleness!  There is great power and character in knowing that a relationship is not a goal.  It is admirable and encouraging to watch someone pursue Christ and Him alone.  So know your position and play it (i.e. stop flirting with the willing to do workers if you ain’t trying to work with them.  Be courageous.).  Be that!  All of it!

Note From Good:  If you are not sure if you have the permanent gift of singleness, commit this to prayer and counsel (Counsel of wise elders, Christian counselors, (true) ministers or pastors).  One can also take a brief walk through books such as Forever and Always by Dr. and Mrs. Tracy or Boundaries in Marriage by Cloud and Townsend to understand the demands of marriage and gauge whether or not you are even willing to give what it takes.  Remember singleness is a ministry to God but marriage is a ministry to God by ministering to His child in love.  Do some study and know the fullness of both lifestyles.  God will make it clear. I’m done.

Una sangre, Una sola familia! Todos Gentes! Besos! (One blood, One Family!  All People! Kisses!)

Life, Love and Learning to you,

Good

Your Story of Love (For singles and marrieds)

Happy Monday Funday to You!!

I am in love with stories!! Among my favorite stories to hear and witness are the stories of everyday people. I was talking to my mother this morning about the story of how she got here and mine.  There are some very painful parts and some very beautiful ones but that’s what makes a great story.  It occurred to me that every person has this story of love.  Every person was created in love.  (Yes, some circumstances around conception were not loving, i.e. rape, prostitution, molestation, one night stands, artificial insemination (not that this is like the former), etc.)

The fact is whatever our circumstances, there was love because even in an unwanted pregnancy or single parent pregnancy and even in attempted abortions; someone loved us enough for us to be here.  We are here because our circumstances could not override God’s desire to see you and I experience this life.  We are here and no amount of hurt, hate, halt, haughtiness or hindrance could stop us because the God of all the universe said, “Yes, this child of mine will live.  They shall come forth.”  What does that mean when some of us have experienced hurt, abandonment, hatred, isolation, confusion as a result of that gift of life?  How can we not resent Him for giving some of us lives we would have rather not endured?

We must learn to love our story and recognize it as a story of love.  Yes, sometimes painful but overall beautiful in its own unique way.  When Christ was walking out His earthly ministry, the story of His conception is beautiful but the aftermath is painful, and to some, disgraceful.  For the rest of Jesus’s and Mary’s life they (and the rest of their family) endured the stigma by many, of being seen as a wayward woman and a bastard child.  He was to many “illegitimate”; His mother was defiled and His adoptive farther, Joseph, was ridiculed.  Yet, there was love even the love that drove Him to the cross in humiliation and defeat to the ignorant eye but to the eye that saw the love story greater than all others unfolding, He was a knight rescuing and restoring His damsel’s honor and place.  It was not clear until the ressurrection and the fullness of His story is still not seen.  It is still unfolding, as is ours.  How do you see your story of love?  Are you looking at the middle saying that there is no hope for the end?

Note From Good:

I want to challenge myself and anyone who might read this to take off the goggles of dread this world places on our eyes.  Let us see our lives from an eternal perspective of love. I challenge us to read and  “know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.” Romans 8:28 (KJV).  This scripture is immediate and generational.  Let us look at our story not only individually but as a link in a chain of generations (yes even if you do not intend to have children).  We must broaden our scope, so that we will be willing to endure the hardship in faith believing that we will secure a brighter tomorrow for the whole of the body of Christ and the world through our joys and our pains. Besides there is no such thing as a good story without some form of antagonism (Drama).

For singles who are struggling with singleness this means recognizing that this is the middle of the story not the end.  You will find your bride.  You husband will pursue you and the love will be sweeter for the struggle and delay (delayed gratification, look it up or google it).  For singles who are happy being single but still dealing with drama, this is an invitation to press into the victory that you already have over your own flesh and the criticism of narrow-minded folks (i.e. “It’s better to marry than to burn” quoters or “all the good ones gone be gone”. I say whatever with that cause if you jump and get the wrong one you gone get burned and if they’re gone by the time I get there, good it means less to weed out. Sorry that was a rant. My bad).

For married folks,  this means acknowledging that the hardships of marriage play an integral role in building a strong foundation of intimacy through commitment (“This is permanent” mindset). Also for married folks, the adventure of your love and romance needs to be found in the work to get back to each other everyday in the midst of chaos, ease and monotony of monogamy.  In the midst of folks making “additions” to their marriage because “one person can not satisfy”, your challenge is to have a love story full of valor, honor and courage.  That means sacrificing your selfish desires in order to give your family a security and trust that others may never know.

Enjoy your story of love and where you are allowed to write, write well.

Please hit me up, let me know about your story.

Have a great week.  Life, love and learning to you.

God bless, no stress,

Good 😀

Rejection; God’s Protection

Happy Monday Good People,

I pray your weekends were absotively posolutely wonderful :-D!  I want to make this short sweet and quick this week.

I was listening to a lady on a talk show give dating advice and her encouragement was to remember that “Rejection is God’s Protection.”

Her point was that instead of being discouraged and wounded by rejection we should be thankful to God.  It is God’s way of  protecting us from others who would be unappreciative of who we are.

This is not only true romantically but also spiritually, socially and economically.  When we are rejected in whatever arena it is, we need to see the hand of God saying, “No my child, this is not good for you.”

Romans 8:28 and Genesis 50:20 are great scriptural references for this principle.  Aight then, like I said short and snappy.  I hope this brightens some of your past hurt.  See them with the gratitude of recognizing how God is working even through the pain.

Life, Love and learning to you,

Good

Stick Figure Romance edition #1

Happy Monday,

I hope your weekend was bright.  I intended to offer a review of chistianmingle.net or .com or .whatever it is.  However, I hate cyberdating.  I lasted all of 1 day 3 hours and 27 minutes.  By the time they approved my photo and profile; I was tearing it down!  I am just a bit too old fashioned for it.  I want the, “guy sees girl; guy pursues girl like a gentleman; girl and fall for each other” type of romance. I am young but I need whole family values scene lol :-D.  So instead, I am going to share a comic by Therosia Reynolds and hope you all enjoy a good laugh.  Aight then until next monday, Life, love and learning to you, Good.

The craziness of love

The “Gift” of Singleness

But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given.  For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.” Matthew 19:11&12 (ESV)

To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.  I Corinthians 7:8 (ESV)

Shalom,

Often these passages are waved in the faces of singles to teach the “gift” of singleness.  The problem is that it is normally married people teaching this (while they have a mate).  Singles are told that being single gives them greater freedom, time and passion to pursue a relationship with Christ.  This is all true but at times even with a strong love for God, singleness does not feel like a gift.  Whether one is called to singleness for a season or a lifetime, loneliness can creep in.  So is singleness really a gift and how does one face the isolation without resenting it?

The answer is a perspective change.  Not everyone wants a mate and in those cases the gift of singleness is obvious  (I applaud these people, it is a true gift) but along the spectrum of other circumstances and desires the gift can be more obscure and confusing.  Singleness is not a typical gift.  The generosity of God is not as evident in it.  What makes singleness a gift is not what we can accomplish in our singleness nor what we can gain; singleness is a gift because it is meant to be received.  The same way a mate is a gift to be received and grown with, singleness should be accepted and grown with as well.  Not only as a Christian but being unmarried grows us up as men and women.

I Corinthians 7:32-34 says, “He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord” and in the average message this scripture is used to direct saints to use this time to focus on the Lord.  This is absolutely right.  I want to add that in order to truly receive this gift our focus on God must lead us to a transforming introspection the same way marriage does.  When two people marry, they become a part of God’s process to develop the other into the fullest and best of their true selves.  God uses singleness in the same way but more intensely because in singleness Christ is our only Beloved.  While singles use their time of solitude to know God; if they are open, God uses that time to heal, perfect and love them.   If we receive this time as a gift of intimacy with Christ rather than a sentence to solitary confinement and are open to Him in it, we can be introduced to our true identity in Messiah Jesus Christ, to become it.  This is the gift of singleness. Whether temporary or permanent, it is not a gift because of the accomplishments or prizes.  The gift of singleness is receiving the full truth of who we are meant to be and becoming it.  It is receiving God in us.

Note from Good:  The truth is no matter how much of a super saint we may be, we will from time to time struggle with loneliness but that doesn’t mean we should jump and get married or date someone (including the exes whose numbers we just can’t seem to lose. Put it down and back away from the phone.). When craving for connection seems to be turning on us what we need to do is see it for what it is…our humanity.  It is normal.  We are meant to have connection.  Reach out to good strictly plutonic friends and family.  Spend some time with yo folks and get some pure good love.  It will help.  Mostly during these times we should all reach for stronger connection to Christ and to self.  Very few people recognize that loneliness or longing for intimacy is a symptom that we are not connected to who we are.  Intimacy or into me see should be individual as well as relational.  After all we cannot share ourself if you don’t know who we are.

For me personally that meant recognizing that my personal love language is physical touch.  When I am not hugged or touched I don’t feel loved.  However, I was born into an extremely large family (with 16 uncles and 8 aunts) where most folks ain’t touchy feely.  So I had to turn to God and recieve a stronger intimacy with Him where I can feel His love.  Next I had to be very introspective, exploring me.  I found that sometimes my desire for people was my way of avoiding my own stuff (i.e., hurt, sin, doubt, loss, failures, etc).  So I had to deal with me and love me first.  Then I developed very stong connections with the family members that are huggers and I had to get huggy touchy homegirls  (not romantically) who like being hugged just as much as me.  That does not erase my desire for a mate it just gives me a stability in my intimacy so that even when I am married, I am not love starved if my husband is not available to me.

To find your love language visit:  http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/

Truth is the gift of single is sometimes a gift we want to return but, we need to appreciate all that it builds us into, the best we that we can possibly be. 😀   Aight then.  I am out until next monday.  God bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you.

Love, Life and Learning to you,

Good

Craigslist Dating

Hey Y’all,

I must share my adventure tonight into the world of Craigslist dating.  I was trying to sell some things on Craigslist and noticed for the first time that there was a section for dating.  This amazed me because I just didn’t expect it at all.  I was so intrigued that I decided to read the posts.

I haven’t dated in a long time and this was not my cup of tea so I was really just being nosy.  (I’m just saying.)

I was amazed by the frankness of some, the delusions and vulgarity of others and overall just the presentation.  I am not running any of these men and women down because I do not know any one of them to my knowledge.  However, it struck me as odd that many of them were looking for a “good woman” for a “real relationship”.  Craigslist just did not seem the place for it.  It’s a great place to sell or buy but, brokering love in such an environment seems unrealistic.  Don’t get me wrong, I am the eternal optimist and wholeheartedly believe in love being found in unexpected ways.  I also believe that love is more than a mere commodity to be conjured on a marketplace website.  In my opinion, each one of those men and women are more precious and valuable than they give themselves credit for being.  It cheapens the beauty of who a person is to place their heart in a sells and trade genre.  Even if they were advertising something honorable, who they truly are in the eyes of Christ is not seen in those posts because of the nature of the website as a venue.

Craigslist is a nice website for what it’s for, buying and selling (or getting free stuff if you’re fast enough), it just seems to me that we as people should set the stage for our hearts in a better arena.

Well let me know what you think.  Good Morning and Good Night

Life and Learning To You, Good